In the Box
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Cup Final Songs
Is there anything more jaw-dropping and cringeworthy than the Cup Final record? Once a staple element to the build-up for the big day, this dreaded tradition has now almost entirely vanished from the musical landscape. But this page being what it is exposes the sheer horror that was once a squad of tone-deaf footballers being herded into a studio and forced to sing about lifting the famous trophy.
We begin our musical odyssey back in 1971 with Arsenal's famous Double-winning side belting out 'Good Old Arsenal'. The year before Chelsea's released their equally famous (or infamous) 'Blue is the Colour' which can be viewed here. The Gunners' tune was written by non-other than the former Fulham footballer turned TV pundit and foward-thinker, Jimmy Hill; is there anything that man couldn't do?
We begin our musical odyssey back in 1971 with Arsenal's famous Double-winning side belting out 'Good Old Arsenal'. The year before Chelsea's released their equally famous (or infamous) 'Blue is the Colour' which can be viewed here. The Gunners' tune was written by non-other than the former Fulham footballer turned TV pundit and foward-thinker, Jimmy Hill; is there anything that man couldn't do?
Ipswich Town journeyed to the old twin towers with this catchy tune ringing in the ears of Tractor Boys everywhere. Although Wembley may not be quite were Ipswich 'belong'. Despite what the song may tell you they did indeed 'get that goal', courtesy of Roger Osbourne who then promptly fainted and spent the rest of the final hearing little birds tweeting around his head.
The year ended in a one and so Tottenham went to Wembley with this little ditty with an penned by Cockney duo, Chas n' Dave entitled 'Ossie's Dream'. The references of 'Marching into War' behind a little Argentinean appeared fairly ironic twelve months later when Britain went to actual war with Ardiles homeland of Argentina. Ossie's Dream? More like Ossie's Nightmare. Oh well, at least he did win the Cup with 'Totting-ham'.
Everton's 'Here We Go!' from 1984 was possibly the least imaginative of all football songs. That said, look where the Toffeemen got to record it. Abbey Road Studio 2! The previous year the then Watford Chairman Elton John released his prophetic 'I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues' which was used by cruel TV companies over footage of him in tears as Watford lost the FA Cup Final to Everton. We suspect he failed to enjoy the irony of that one.
Four years later and creative maverick Craig Johnston, who also happened to play on the wing for Liverpool, decided to come up with something 'different' for Liverpool's 1988 Cup Final song. Tapping into the growing 'Hip-Hop' culture Johnston came up with the 'Anfield Rap' which involved all the players, may of whom should have known better, 'blinging up' for the cringeworthy video. Not wishing to miss out on all the fun, ITV's legendary commentator Brian 'Its in there!' Moore got down with the kids by rapping about how the Red's midfield dynamo Steve McMahon deserved an England cap "Because if anybody can, Macca Can! Macca Can!"
Crystal Palace's 1990 effort is something of a novelty in that it their song fails to mention football in any way, shape or form. In fact it was a cover version of 'The Dave Clarke Five's' "Glad All Over". So here they all are shell-suited up on Sky TV's Derek Jameson show. Strangely, then Palace striker Ian Wright, a man never usually shy from being in the limelight is a notable absentee from this motley crew. Its difficult to believe a broken leg would have stopped him. Interesting to note John Salako giving it the full gun whilst Alan Pardew looks ever so slightly embarrassed. (Oh, and future England goalkeeper, Nigel Martyn should be thoroughly ashamed of his lush brush).
Although not technically a cover version Manchester United's 1994 collaboration with Status Quo was more of a rehashing or perhaps just a trashing of Quo's 1988 Top 5 hit 'Burning Bridges'. 'Come on You Reds' used exactly the same tune but differed from Palace by cunningly changing the words. Whatever you think of it 'Come On You Reds' was the only football club song to top the charts which it did for two weeks running. It was also Status Quo's last number one.
And finally, following United's rouse of using an established act to perform their Cup Final record, Chelsea turned to Blues' supporter and Madness frontman, Suggs. In those the pre-Abramovich money laden days it had been an amazing 27 years since Chelsea's last major domestic honour. And so Suggs' ode was one of hope for the future and a wistful look to the glory days of the past. His hopes of a 'Blue Day' were pretty much realised when current stand-in manager Roberto Di Matteo lamped one in past the Middlesborough keeper Ben Jones after just 42 seconds. (Then a Cup Final record). Completing a link with the present, Di Matteo's assistant Eddie Newton added a second with just seven minutes to the full time whistle.
Stu May 11th 2012 15:37
Worst ''five'' ever from Stevo and Johno in the Anfield rap!
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