Happy Friday to all Dr Sparkles fans. My work as both a doctor and as an international jet-setting WAG has taken me far and wide this week, which is why my irreverent view on the world of football is a touch late. Blame St Tropez darlings! The champagne kept on flowing. What else could I do?

Anyway, back to business. There is a special slant on the top three this week, in that I am looking at footballers and their advice on how you mere mortal football fans should live your lives…


Fun Fact One: Apparently there has been a financial crisis and/or recession in the UK and Ireland recently? All Dr Sparkles funds are tied up in Swiss bank accounts and property in Dubai, so that little happening passed her by. Luckily financial advice is here from top footballing sources. This week (King) Eric Cantona decided that it was time to let the little people know what they need to do in order to show those bankers what for…

Fun Fact Two: Footballers are at the cutting edge of fashion, and none so much as a certain Carlos Tevez. Rumours around Gucci and Chanel (not to mention Primark) this week are that snoods are back since Carlos was seen modelling them during recent games – the matching snood and glove combo is bound to keep you warm now that the snow is falling. That’s advice you must follow to keep warm on the terraces.

Fashion leader and Snood Meister-General, Carlos Tevez in action against West Brom.

Fun Fact Three: Lastly, some well-behaved football boys want you to know that the best way to spend your Saturday night isn’t out having (alleged) drug fuelled orgies or (allegedly) cheating on your pregnant wife with a prostitute or two, but just hanging out with your mates in a darkened hotel room playing *blatant product placement via Twitter to ensure you carry on getting free PS3 games for the foreseeable future* Fifa 11...

Theo Walcott is 'Not Safe for Work' apparently....

Say what you will about Harry Kewell, but at least he is more obvious about his advertising income… Wii anyone?