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The sun is shining on the streets of Great Britain and life is good in the Dr Sparkles household. It would seem that the stress of the past few weeks is finally lifting and now it’s time to break out the Chanel sunglasses and the Veuve Clicquot and enjoy the sunshine.

Life in footballer-land isn’t necessarily so rosy though, and this week I am just concentrating on recent happenings. Themes are so last month sweeties… So sit back, relax and enjoy this week’s offering. And don’t forget, the sun might not be strong, but put on that sun protection. No one likes a melanoma…

1.       Off to Jail

Our first port of call is during visiting hours to a certain Mr Kevin Etuhu, who was sentenced to 8 months in jail for violent assault earlier this week. The Man City striker (slash right winger) who is currently on loan to Cardiff City (although news just in suggests that Etuhu has been dropped by City, so who knows where his career will go from now) was caught up in a little kerfuffle in a casino bar in Manchester. The problems continued outside the club where Etuhu punched a man and then kicked him several times in the head, breaking his jaw. Rico Richards, Etuhu’s friend (and lesser-known ex-footballer who once graced the scene at Altrincham FC) was also involved in the assault and too was jailed. 

This clip, from Greater Manchester Police CCTV, shows the horrific attack in full. Nasty stuff and not for the faint-hearted.

Dr Sparkles believes that footballers (or anyone) who behave in this kind of extreme aggressive manner should be punished, although she does wonder why punishments for some random acts of violence aren’t taken as seriously as others by the courts…

2.       Off to Specsavers

Not wanting to get too bogged down with violent assault, a lighter piece of news from Europe (ish) this week, where ex-Real Madrid legend and Spanish midfielder Guti rocked out some rather dapper purple glasses while at a Beşiktaş club dinner.

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The purple framed specs seemed to be less for function and more for fashion, which led Dr Sparkles on a trawl of other footballers who have done the same. A move to appear more intelligent perhaps? Or a real case of myopia? You decide…

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Who else, but Mr Fashionista himself, David Beckham, wearing glasses that are similar to those Guti sports, just a calmer hue…

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West Brom's outfield superstar Paul Scharner rocking some red specs and looking pretty darn foxy as he does so. 

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Ex-Barcelona defender Lilian Thuram proving that some footballers can look – or even be – intelligent…

1.       Off to JJB Sports

One prominent England player who has remained scarily absent from Dr Sparkles Worst Dressed List is a certain Mr Wayne Rooney. Perhaps Colleen has been styling him to ensure that he makes no sartorial faux-pas, but it would seem that when he is away from his doting and loyal wife he forgoes the Armani and Littlewoods designer brands and heads straight to JJB Sports.

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Shame on you Rooney. This we can’t forgive
The problem with this picture may not appear to be immediately obvious to those without Dr Sparkles keen fashion eye – but cropped trousers on a man are very rarely a good look. Rooney is sporting not only what could only be described in some circles as a tight capri pant but also what appears to be a knee high sock to complete the ensemble. Even JT looks embarrassed, and he has sported some shocking looks himself…

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Two shades of grey and a dodgy cap? Oh dear…
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ooh, shiny..
The man-capri is not a good look. On anyone. It would be hard for even the footballing fashion-greats of Beckham or Ljungberg to pull this look off, let alone a man who is borne of potato. Dr Sparkles believes that Colleen now has more than one reason to worry when her man is playing away from home…

 

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