Happy 2011 to my loyal readers. How were the celebrations, darlings? Beautiful and champagne-filled I hope. I’d tell you all about my adventures but the privacy of A-listers remains of upmost important to me, so I’ll just leave it to your imaginations…
With a New Year comes the need for New Year Resolutions. Here are my top three suggested resolutions for clubs and players alike. Until next week sweeties…
Resolution One: Bring In An Oldie
With Ljungberg now at Celtic and the rumours surrounding Beckham’s return to the UK (Spurs being the club of choice at the time of writing), Dr Sparkles suggests that bringing in an old player is the move of the moment during the January transfer window. No matter if they’re a bit slow now, their fame and celebrity status will make your club more famous all over the world, and bring in both the cash and the ladies from far and wide to catch a glimpse of said hottie. Of course, Ronaldinho’s move to Blackburn might not herald the same chick-following as model-esque Freddie and David, but they’re on trend nonetheless…
Spot the difference…
Resolution Two: Man Up!
Dr Sparkles was the first to applaud Tevez and his snazzy snood last year, but it has now gone way too far. Most Man City players now seem to enter the field of play with gloves, snoods, long-sleeved tops and long shorts. Dr Sparkles does not approve. A Man City branded snood may be a good way of bringing in some more cash to the club, but players need to realise that the UK is not Siberia, even though there has been a cold snap recently. Conversely, the Everton players have been banned by Moyes from even wearing gloves, which is clearly the way to go. This was shown in the result between these two on December 20th, when Everton won 2-1.
Dr Sparkles advice? Man up and run around a bit more. Extra layers (other than a football shirt and a base layer) are not needed and even at extreme cold temperatures your core body temp doesn’t change all that much – temperatures around freezing will not affect your performance once you have warmed up.
It's not that cold!
Resolution Three: Grow Up!
With the sacking of Darren Ferguson came one of the biggest shows of foot-stamping since Cheryl Cole didn’t get the Malibu beach house in her divorce. Daddy Ferguson decided that no-one could treat his son like that and proceeded to withdraw his on-loan Manchester United stars (ahem) Ritchie De Laet and Josh King from Preston North End’s sweaty grip. There was also talk of United ending their loan of midfielder Matty James. Thoughts on this are mixed amongst fans, but Dr Sparkles finds the fact that Big Daddy Ferg felt he should step in and get involved with his son's business a little tragic. Allow your son to be his own man Sir Alex!
What did you say to my boy?
RSS Feed
