Good day loyal Sparkles fans. After a busy holiday week, involving mostly running, buying a bicycle and eating many, many lunches out I am back with a Top Five (bigger than the usual Top Three, you lucky darlings!) of football news, views and happenings. Once again, there is no one main theme running through joining them all, other than the beautiful game itself. Enjoy...

1. Owl Killer Strikes Again

A sad and dark start to it all this week, with news that Panamanian Luis Moreno has struck again. For those of you who aren't totally up to date with Colombia's League (and why would you be now the Colombian Correspondent has defected to Spain?), Moreno is a defensive player for Deportivo Pereira. In a shocking off the ball incident in March Moreno kicked the owl mascot of the opposing team (Junior Barranquill) off the pitch after it has been hit with the match ball. The owl subsequently died from shock. Moreno was banned for 2 games and has since received death threats from Colombian fans. That said, there have been whispers that Sheffield United are interested in any Owl killer they can get their hands on...

The story regarding owls ends there, but Moreno and his violence came to a head when, during a match against Deportivo Cali, he kicked central defender Pablo Andres Escobar while he lay on the ground after he was fouled. A straight red and 7 match ban was the result of the vicious kick in the stomach from Moreno and Cali won the game 2-1

Dr Sparkles understands how adrenalin and testosterone can make a footballer do silly things in the heat of the moment (hello Wayne Rooney) but thinks that violence against animals and men who are already down is too much...

2. Wayne and Jack

The awe-inspiring story of Jack Marshall (the bravest boy on Twitter - please follow him on @Jack_Marshall_ ) has touched all of our hearts, and that includes the heart of Wayne Rooney, who recently met the brave little boy and gave him a kiss after Jack said "I'd like to kiss you Wayne, I think that you are the best footballer in the world". Gorgeous.

DrSparkles likes it when footballers show their softer side and can think of no-one better than Jack Marshall to show it to. If you are interested in reading more about Jack and his life then visit here: http://www.jacksfund.co.uk/

3. Stevie G in 3D

Are you a Liverpool fan? Concerned about what your favourite midfielder is up to since he was sidelined thanks to his recurrent groin injury (something that DrSparkles has herself suffered, and therefore has much sympathy with)? Well wonder no longer, thanks to the magic of twitter, bezzie mate and (resting?) actor Paul McGrattan, the picture below shows us all exactly what he has been doing...

That's right SportsFans. Mr Gerrard, Liverpool legend, is sat around with some random dude, in matching grey tracksuits, eating grapes and watching movies in 3D. That's a class that money just can't buy.

Tracksuits (such a fashion no-no in grey flannel) and 3D glasses aside (DrSparkles is very much in the Mark Kermode camp as far as 3D goes), DrSparkles is pleased to see that Steven is resting his groin and eating healthy snacks - both of which will speed his recovery. Get well soon!

4. Chelsea players star in 'Another New Shirt'

Football is a lucrative business. The merchandise alone can bring in millions of pounds of revenue for any popular club, and Chelsea FC are wise to this. To be fair many clubs are, but this week Chelsea are in the spotlight for not only bringing out a new shirt, but doing so with a photoshoot/video alongside it. View it below, but do heed the cheese warning now:

5. Beckham, Snoop Dogg and Kiddie Clothes

Final story of the day goes to the unbelievable pairing of top-'soccer' player Beckham and top HipHop artiste Snoop (Doggy) Dogg. These two have been firm friends since the Beckhams moved to LA back in 2007, and they are so close that Snoop even plays his songs to Becks before they are released to the general public. Mr Dogg has also given him some advice on romancing and thinks that David is a great father:

“Whenever I make a record I give him a copy before it’s done. He’s like a brother. I’m gonna show him to rap, for shizzle. He’s my boy. I love soccer just as he loves Hip Hop. Beckham needs to keep doing what he’s doing, he’s a great father...I said that after their 11th anniversary they should have some more kids and romance to some Snoop tunes."

Them being great mates we can just about buy, but who would have thought that they would join forces to design children's clothes?

That's right Sparkle fans, you did read that correctly. David Beckham and Snoop Dogg are currently sat at their drawing boards and designing a range of kids clothes, which could be ready for release as soon as next year.

DrSparkles on board for this upcoming fashion phenomenon. It would seem that David Beckham can do pretty much anything he turns his hand to (and the man can already dress well, so designing is just the next step), and Snoop Dog has already successfully designed a few clothing lines - most recently a  top-selling shoe for Adidas.  In the rapper's words - it's going to be fly

I hope you have all had a fantastic week so far, Dr Sparkles fans. I have been jet-setting to various La Liga and Seria A games, along with a quick trip to New York, to bring you the latest in International football news, with my unique Dr Sparkles slant. This week I am focusing on possible (or actual) alternative careers for footballers. I hope the jetlag was worth it. Enjoy, sweeties, and until next week….

Vocational Suggestion 1: Be a Model

This would usually be an excuse to throw out some of the old Armani photos of Beckham and Ljungberg in their brief briefs, but Dr Sparkles is anything but predictable. First up, choosing modelling as a way to make a bit of cash on the side is Real Madrid’s Xabi Alonso. Not content with being a half decent player and holding the record for longest-range goal ever scored in the Premiership (beating Steve Harper from 61 yards back in 2006) Xabi and his beautiful fiancée Nagore posed exclusively for Vogue España, proving that Xavi is not a one trick pony. Dr Sparkles believes that this is far classier than many of the UK’s footballers who have their gaudy weddings published in Hello or OK Magazine…

In addition to this type of modelling, Dr Sparkles firmly believes that some footballers would benefit from being hairdressers’ models, thus improving their silky smooth locks, and (in some cases) their game play one thousand fold…

Vocational Suggestion Number 2: Be an Artist

Be it tattoos, acting, or illustrating Children’s books, it seems that footballers are an arty bunch. Bristol City’s David James is an avid artist, a title he holds proud along with his record of most Premiership appearances (573 for those of you who are counting) and there are many footballers who use their bodies as canvases for tattoo artists (some with greater success than others).

Not to mention footballing great King Eric Cantona and his stint as a poet (somewhat dubious) and actor (his performance in Elizabeth being his crowning glory). Dr Sparkles approves of footballers who are not afraid to show their arty sides, and other than the selection of rather ghastly tattoos that some footballers exhibit, thinks that acting, arting or tattooing is a worthy vocation after the footballing is done…

Vocational Suggestion Number 3: Be a Legend

At a time where true legends appear to be scarce in the game we all love, Dr Sparkles would like to pay homage to two ex-players who have returned to the game after some absence, and who are already being heralded as born-again saviours.

King Eric Cantona has recently taken up residence in New York, becoming Director of Soccer at New York Cosmos. Even Sir Alex Ferguson thinks this is a good move for the King, saying “I am delighted for Eric, It is quite an innovative move by New York Cosmos. They are rebuilding their team and although it doesn't start until next year, whether they want Eric's knowledge, charisma or personality, it will be interesting for him." Dr Sparkles, for one, agrees with Sir Alex and can’t wait to see King Eric back on the pitch again. Or, at least, standing beside it…

It would be unfair to mention legends without bringing up another King, this time King Kenny Dalglish. Liverpool fans the world over were overjoyed when Dalglish was appointed as new Liverpool manager, and although his presence hasn’t quite caused the stir that fans were hoping for, there is plenty of time for a turaround by a somewhat (currently) lacklustre Liverpool squad. Dr Sparkles is all in favour in legends returning and hopes that this will be a positive move for Liverpool, as opposed to a Shearer-for-Newcastle debacle…

Another week, another piece of fluffy fun from me, Dr Sparkles D’Mournay. I’m bringing you an alternate view of things that have been happening on and off the pitch this week… 

Fun Fact Number One: The only good thing to come out of the 0-0 Manchester Derby last week was a rather amusing photograph of ‘just good friends’ Carlos Tevez and Rio Ferdinand. Who would have thought that they were this close? Given Rio’s apparent penchant for gaining super injunctions from the high court to hide what a naughty boy he has been, Dr D’Mournay is rather surprised that this beautiful coupling slipped though the net…

Fun Fact Two Number Two: Dr D’Mournay does love a little weekend getaway to Spain when finances and time allow it, so she was overjoyed to see a certain Gerald Pique throwing Spanish snack food at an official while he was watching Barcelona v Ceuta last week. The Copa del Rey match finished 5-1 to Barca, but even more interesting was Pique’s sideline adventures…

The Spanish – somewhat strange creatures at times – do enjoy nibbling on Pipas, essentially justsalty sunflower seeds, while watching a bit of football (which is a far healthier alternative to a Pukka Pie, it must be said). It seems Pique would rather put his snack food to better use – see below for an amusing ‘it wasn’t me señor’’ moment, before Pique puts aside all pretence and chucks the whole bag at the poor official. Muy travieso…

Dr D’Mournays Transfer Tidbit of the week: Lucia Barros from Borussia Dortmund may be on his way to Anfiled. Perhaps he’ll collide with Glen Johnson as he runs in the other direction…